I Continue To Hurt Myself Today: IE How Am I This Clumsy

Seriously. Can someone please help me with me problem?
Clumsy people, unite!
Stop! You’re about to trip- No! There’s- Wait!
‘Kays, so maybe clumsy people uniting isn’t the best of ideas….
Let me explain what I’ve done to myself today-

• I walked into a door. Not that bad, you’d think, right? People walk into doors all the time. It’s hilarious but not a big deal. WRONG. I walked into an OPEN door. Yeah. I don’t even know how that happened, but I walked into it. In a crowded doorway… hall… place-y building thing… Who walks into an open door. Honestly, woman! There’s like, this much space you have to walk and this little space you have to walk into the open door. (Forgets you can’t see her hand motions)
•  I dropped an intensely heavy bag on my foot today. Yep. I was sliding it off my shoulder to set on the floor but it dropped… on my foot. Go me!
•   I was doing the Cotton Eyed Joe (don’t ask me why! *glares, quellingly*) and jammed my finger backward on my foot. Now it’s swollen and crooked and it flipface hurts to type. Rawr.

And that is just today. I’ve stubbed fingers and toes countless of times, tripped over nothing thousands of times, I am a disaster waiting to happen. I’ve nearly fell down stairs multiple times if it wasn’t for my quick reflexes (hehe, pats self on back) grabbing the railing I might’ve broken my neck falling down stairs (I exaggerate.).
I recall a time when… (Story time!)
I was… umm… how old? Maybe three to five-ish. So I was wearing a footie pajamas and it was late at night. I really wanted a glass of milk (yeah, I’m one of those people that like milk. Numnumnum.) and my parents were still awake downstairs. So I put one foot down on the top step…. And fell all the way down the stairs.
So began a long and industrious career of clumsy self harm!
Some of my shining moments include:

• Leaning back on a chair only to find that the back was on the side. Yeah. Fell off the chair backwards, slammed my head against a garbage can (or maybe it was the corner of a table, the details are a bit murky…) and the floor.
•  Falling off a fence. I concussed myself and possibly blacked out for a minute. I had to get a CAT scan or something… In all fairness, I had just spent the entire week horseback riding for the first time and for all of you that have never first horseback rid… HOLY CRAPSTICKS. You sincerely ask yourself if you actually have leg muscles. Because your legs? Jelly. I also spent the previous night running around this huge campus for a stupid game I had to play. It was gross. I had an awkward small little bald patch there for a while… I NEVER TOLD YOU THAT. HUSH YOUR FACE.
• Fell asleep on the bus- slammed my head against the window. This has happened so many times that I can’t even. It hurts so much. (So I drew pictures for this and they sucked but I was going to put them in anyway, but Blogger decided today was a good day to be an ass and I couldn't format them in correctly. Thank you, Blogger, you arsefacehole.)
• Literally, every time I shave, I cut myself accidentally. (If you ever say that you cut yourself, you always have to say by accident or it sounds a little sketchy and worrisome.)

I am too lazy to go on... so yeah. There you are. Klutz am I.
Tell me your accident stories, so I don't feel awkwardly way too clumsy!

All About Posts: IE The Deal With This Blog And Me

First, I realized that I never introduced myself. How remiss of me. Please excuse my regrettable lack of manners.

Hello. My name is unavailable to you because this is the Interweb. And everyone knows the Interweb is no place for personal information!

• This person creature is a writer. I think you probably gathered that.
• The person creature is also very into books. Rabidly into them, in fact. There is only one thing this blog cannot stand and that is the  book haters.
• I am really bad at life. Seriously. I am just. Intensely bad at being social. This is why not a lot of people like me. But you do, right? You like me?  TELL ME I'M PRETTY.
• I like to think that I'm an eccentric. Really, I do. 
• Let me admit that I have some issues. (Lies. All lies. She is an issue. Wow, when did we get into third person. Wait. When did this become the royal we. What. I am lost.)
• Right, I am female. Yep.
• I tend to spaz/flip out/geek over many things. Uhm... This may be the place I do that. May.

Onto the blog!
So I have officially made a pact with myself to try to write a new post each week.
I dunno why.
To share my world with others.
If that wasn't cheesy, I don't know what is.
I think I need to reestablish what this blog is.
Herm...
(What do I tell the people?!?! Wait a minute. There are no people.)
Hello, no people.
The point of this blog is to spread the awkward. To ramble about life. To create a place where people like me and unlike me can gather and talk about stuff.
It's for authors, poets, artists, scientists, singers, whatever you can do, share it with the world. I have created this place to build a safe haven for opinions, people and voices.
Hopefully it's doing that, although, I'd probably have to have viewers for this to work. Which I'm pretty sure I don't. Oh well.
Butts and what not.


Look. This is for the people who think they're unliked. Someone who feels down. Anybody who needs to relate. This is for anybody who needs it.
So please. Comment. Say things. Talk.Yell at me if you need to. Share your writing with me, share your artwork with me, be entertained by my ravings.

This is not just me talking to myself. Please don't make it that.

I have enough problems without having imaginary viewers. Then again, one of my problems is talking to myself. This is basically talking to myself. I-

Done with this line of thought.

Nope.

What was I talking about, again?

Pretty Girl-13, A Book Talk: IE HOLY CRAP THIS THING IS TERRFYING

*spoiler alert*
*also, cursing alert, though I should have dispensed of you prudes ages ago, *winky face to show that I am joking and not being offensive* However, I really don't like people who get their underthings in wads over a word that's not even affecting them or hurting them but that is a rant for another post. Literally. That is another post. And this alert is getting long. Okay.*


I just
I can't
ACK
I read this book today called Pretty Girl-13 (you can click on the link to go to the Amazon page for the book) and it was fucking TERRIFYING
I just.
HOly CrAp on a stick.
O.o
....

o.O
I basically spent the entire morning flipping over this book. Hyperventilation was involved. So was spazziful movements. My friends were probably ready to slap me. Sorry....

But this book is legitimately just- merps.

Okay, basically (this is where the spoilers come in) this girl was kidnapped when she was 13. Suddenly she appears back home three years later with amnesia. They discover she has DID, dissociative identity disorder, or multiple personalty disorder. You learn more about her captivity and find out that her kidnapper had raped her. You also learn that she had DID before she was kidnapped because her uncle- who is only eight years older than her- had been molesting her. Then at the end you find out that she had a child with her kidnapper and that that child was given up for adoption and had been the child she was babysitting.

This is some intensely heavy shite.

But this book is insanely good. Okay, not insanely good but still quite good. I mean it's the whole "Ermergerd this is just so terrifying but I can't put it down, I must know what happens!"

The problem is I get feels- I hope whoever reads this know what that means you can refer to my post about being a fangirl. Basically the whole damn post is a tangle of feels. Anyway, I get really into books. So...
Yeah.

cough cough geek cough cough

Thank you. I am a geek.

Rainy Days: IE Accepting the Occasional Bad Day

First of all: What prompted this?
Today it is raining. I love the rain. I adore rain. I stood outside today with an umbrella just basking in the rain.
But today is also an icky day for me. Merp.
Oh well, life is life.
(Like that? It's blue for the rain.)

STOP. GO NO FURTHER!
(I suddenly feel like I'm making you take a standardized state test.)
Before you go on to read the rest of this post, I want to get you in the mood for a well-deserved wallow-full rainy day.So follow these instructions.

 Numero Uno!: Open up a new tab and type in rainymood.com, or, you know, just click that link I have so helpfully provided. That's if there isn't any rain for you, or it's not loud enough.

Number Two!: Now either make a Spotify playlist or a Youtube playlist with these songs:

• Bad Day by Daniel Powter (I suggest, when it comes on, you sing it at the top of your lungs, you can find the lyrics here)
• Angels on the Moon/Kiss the Rain/Long Hallway With A Broken Light/While the Candle Still Burns by Thriving Ivory (Okay, seriously, almost anything by Thriving Ivory is just great for wallowing)
• New Soul/Far Far by Yael Naim
• On A Day Just Like Today by Gabe Dixon
• Boston by Augustana
• Skinny Love/People Help the People by Birdy
• Any other song that invokes that sad happy feeling in you. You know what I'm talking about.

Number Three!: You now have a perfect rainy wallowing day playlist, as well as rain to make it rainy if the weather decides to be an arse and be sunny that day. If you need some more wallowing, after you finish read this blog (Yes, you must finish reading this) go watch some movie that will make you cry. Everybody needs a good cry once in a while, even guys.

And now, here are a 'few' quotes that will sympathize and cheer up if you're feeling down & out, and maybe just a tad bit rainy...

"Into each life some rain must fall." -Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

"The drops of rain make a hole in the stone, not by violence, but by oft falling." -Lucretius

"Always jump in the puddles!  Always skip alongside the flowers.  The only fights worth fighting are the pillow and food varieties." -Terri Guillemets

"We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey." -Kenji Miyazawa

"Every path hath a puddle." -George Herbert

"There is no education like adversity." -Disraeli

"The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears." -John Vance Cheney

"Damaged people are dangerous.  They know they can survive." -Josephine Hart

"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." -Helen Keller

There we are, lots of quotes. Sorry. I got carried away. (I'm not sorry at all.)
Anyway, -dear lord, as a Texan friend of mine would say, this post is getting long. Wait I got distracted again. DARNCRABS! (I have lots of odd ways to curse...)

Merp! Rawr!

Being back on topic, I just wanted to say a few things on Bad Days -yes, they deserve capitals.

-Look. Bad Days are important. They make us grateful for the Good Days and strive for more Good Days.

-Sometimes, people just need to cry.  It's good for you. Here are two articles that explain the benefits of crying and the science: (Click the tiger's caption!) Read if you Dare

-I find there is a certain introspective quality about Bad Days. Introspection is painful... That is all I have to say.

I don't even know what this was, but yay rain!
God. I think this is another deep post. Whyyyy??
Arg.

A Running List of Things I Don't Like: IE Complaining

**Please feel free to mention what you think should be added**

• Sidewalks: I am THAT friend. You know, that friend who has to walk behind everyone else because the STUPID sidewalks aren't WIDE ENOUGH!
• Pimples: Why do you plague faces? Honestly, NOBODY likes you. GET OUT.
• Stomachs: THANK YOU for choosing the most silent moment ever to GROWL like a ferocious monster. MUCH appreciated.
• Alarm Clocks: NO. I WISH TO SLEEP MORE. GO AWAY.
• Ads: ARG... I do not, nor will I EVER want to buy your product! STOP INTERRUPTING MY CRIME SHOWS. (ooh... What's that? That's so cool... Hey, I think I may want this!)
• Sweat: You're sticky and smelly and gross. I know you're good for me but that doesn't mean I have to like you.
• Lays: Why, thank you. I did want to buy a bag of air. Getting it for free is just so last year.

HOLY CRAP ABSOLUTELY DYING: IE When Authors Do Mean Things To Me

*warning: there will many caps lock freak outs*

**double warning: there will also be spoilers**

WHEN AUTHORS DO MEAN THINGS.
I HATE YOU SO MUCH RIGHT NOW [insert mean author's name]
I hate when authors do something really mean.
LIKE TAMORA PIERCE. THAT WOMAN IS EVIL.
I remember, back in the day, I was reading one of her books.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID?!?!?!
*grabs shoulders and shakes*
DO YOU KNOW!?!??!?!?!?!
She took this character that she just used two books with to make you LOVE him and NOT ONLY kills him but MAKES HIM EVIL RIGHT BEFORE MAKING THE MAIN CHARACTER KILL HIM.
I CAN'T EVEN.
 EVIL. EVIL!
*shakes fist*
I think we readers must rise up against these injustices!
We need to stop this stomping of hearts!!!!
IT IS NOT OKAY.
I AM REJECTING THIS.
YOU CANNOT JUST TOY WITH MY EMOTIONS LIKE THIS.

I mean, Dark Triumph by Robin LaFevers KILLS THE BROTHER RIGHT AFTER HE BECOMES ALL NICE AND GOOD.
WHYYYYYY???? I WAS JUST STARTING TO LOVE HIM!!!!

AND ERMERGERD. Girl of Fire and Thorns series by Rae Carson.
HOW COULD YOU?!?!
She falls in love with some warrior dude in the first book- great, I can deal with this!
HE DIES.
She falls in love with another warrior dude, the captain of her guard- good, I like him, I can work with this!
HE GETS KIDNAPPED AT THE END.

Any readers should, at this point, comment their problems with dastardly authors trying to rip out their hearts.

Why you do this to me?!?!?!

Awkward Question: IE Just A Weird Question

So I saw this picture on Facebook today:

It's something from Tumblr.
It made me wonder something....
Vegans don't use anything animal product, right?
So do they breast feed their children?
I mean. It's an animal product.

Can some vegan answer this for me?
This is actually a legitimate question.

(The author's conscience admits that she also wishes to give vegans who have not thought of this a sexy brain. The author has always wanted to say sexy brain instead of mindfuck. The author is beginning to sound pompous, talking in third person and all that nonsense. She will stop.)

I have stopped.
Like I said, it was a weird question.

Fan Girldom; The Complete Dissection: IE No Useful Information + Blathering About A Beautiful OTP

I have something to disclose to you...
I am a fangirl.
*hangs head in shame*
Wait a minute!
NO SHAME. I HAVE NO SHAME BECAUSE THIS IS THE CORNER OF RADGACI. WE ACCEPT ALL AND LOVE ALL.
Dear lord, I am sounding like a hippy. Not that that's a bad thing, just that I am probably the farthest thing from a hippy.
But yes. I am a fangirl over one thing. (I'm lying. I kinda fangirl, only kinda!, over certain crime shows. Ermergerd, Reed from Criminal Minds. And Cho and Rigsby from The Mentalist. And- okay getting distracted. Back on topic. I'm talking more of the shipping fangirl stuff)
So a long time ago (basically, not even a year) a friend of mine introduced me to the words: shipping, OTP, etc.
For those of you who don't know what those things are, urban dictionary it. Or Google it. Or don't read this.
See, I didn't know what those things where, but I actually have one, an OTP, that is.
I didn't know what to call it, but I was definitely shipping that couple. Like, since childhood. The foreverness.
(And now we begin to devolve into an emotional rant about feels....)

ERMERGERD.
BEAST BOY AND RAVEN ARE JUST SO BEAUTIFUL TOGETHER.
I CAN'T EVEN,
MY FEELS ARE JUST
AND THEY
I DON'T.
WHY.
WHY CAN'T THEY GET TOGETHER AND BE A BEAUTIFUL COUPLE AND MAKE ME SO HAPPY I JUST DO NOT UNDERSTAND.

Erherm. Composing myself. Yes, I admit (NO SHAME, NO SHAME!) that I am a fangirl over them.
*sighs, clasping hands to heart*
They are so damn beautiful that I am dying....

THEY WERE CANON ONCE.
THEY COULD BE AGAIN. THERE IS A HOPE FOR THEIR BEAUTIFUL BABIES.

As for Beast Boy + Terra shippers that blunder upon this place, GET OUT.
THIS MAY BE THE CORNER OF THE RADGACI BUT YOU EVIL HUMANLESS THINGS HAVE NO PLACE HERE.

(Why, hello, this is the author of this blog's conscience speaking. Do ignore anything that this author says/claims in this post as she is not in her right mind.)

LOOK AT THESE BEAUTIFUL PICTURES. ARE THEY NOT THE MOST BEAUTIFULEST THING EVER.  OH GOD WHY I'VE GIVEN MYSELF THE FEELS HOLY CRAP DYING.
AND LIKE. THE LAST ONE. IT'S CANON. IT'S REAL.

ERMERGERD. CAN'T. BREATHE.

(The author's conscience also apologizes for excessive caps.)
 

BASKING IN THE GLORY OF THIS.

LOOK AT THIS BEAUTIFULNESS.

ARE YOU NOT DYING LIKE I?

THE ADORABLENESS OF THIS.

AWWWWWWWWW.

HOLY CRAP CANON, DYING. FEELS. ERMERGERD. MY HEART IS EXPLODING.















And finally, I apologize profusely of my obnoxious fangirling. But honestly, what did I say? HUH? Read the title next time, and maybe you won't read something you didn't want to.
But any Beast Boy (or, as I'll point out now, Changeling) Raven shippers out there, please, comment on the GORGEOUSNESS of these people.

*cries into hands, whispering*

They were Canon, once. Once.

*sighs*
Fangirldom is a dark and dangerous place.

And that is all.